Snake Theory
Snake theory is one of one competing standard that attempts to explain the series of mysterious events that occurred from 26 - 30 October 2015. Developed by Drain Rat, this theory assumes that the great King George the Melby the Great (May He Live a Thousand Years) actually possesses more than two identities, one of which is a snake. Although the exact species of snake is still hotly contested, many believe that King Melby is also a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlet_kingsnake scarlet kingsnake (Lampropeltis elapsoides)], mainly due to the fact that both the royalness of the snake's name and the coloration of the snake itself conform to, and indeed even support, our current understanding of the great king. To date, much evidence in support of snake theory has been amassed: * Observations made of the king's unusual dietary habits, especially those pertaining to the week of 26 - 30 October 2015, support the hypothesis that King Melby is also a scarlet kingsnake because although he consumed a relatively normal (compared to the average human-king-turned-chemistry-teacher) amount of food that week, he did so not over the course of several days, but rather in a relatively short period of time. This behavior of consuming large amounts of food infrequently matches that of most snake species, though not of most human populations around the world. * A close analysis of the shirt that King Melby wore on 2 November 2015 reveals that the pattern and coloration of said shirt bears a stunning resemblance to those of the scarlet kingsnake. The results are included below. (While this is not stated in the picture, it is important to note that kingsnakes are generally born with white scales that yellow over time; similarly, the good king's shirt likely had white stripes at the time of its purchase that will begin to yellow in the future.) ** These observations have led to the development of a number of new theories, most prominently the electrical resistance theory. * King George the Melby is often witnessed consuming milk (generally chocolate milk from a prepackaged, single-serve milk carton) at the beginning of lunch. Interestingly, the scarlet kingsnake was, until quite recently, considered a subspecies of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milk_snake milk snake (or milksnake, Lampropeltis triangulum)] and classified as L. t. elapsoides. Milk snakes are so named because it was initially widely believed that they sucked milk directly out of cow udders, but this myth has since been proven false on the grounds that milk snakes are not physically capable of sucking the milk out of a cow. However, the fact that this conspiracy theory even existed in the first place is further evidence of the great king's similarity to these snakes. Furthermore, it is arguable that although King Melby would not be able to drink milk while in his (theorized) snake form, he would actually possess such a capability while in his human form. Thus, it is entirely possible that his frequent milk-drinking is not simply evidence of his similarity to snakes, but rather direct proof of his actually being a snake. * King Melby has been witnessed frequenting the room of a fellow science teacher at the school, who, as a biology teacher, naturally keeps snakes and other such pets in his classroom. Although no eyewitness accounts of the great king's behavior around and towards these snakes have yet been submitted to the wiki, it is hypothesized that he is consorting with his snake brethren during these short but surprisingly frequent visits. * Upon being questioned about his dietary preferences, King Melby has admitted that although he has never consumed rodents of any kind, he does regularly ingest such prey as eggs and poultry. It is noted that kingsnakes are opportunistic feeders and will often also feed on birds and their eggs, as well as those of various reptiles. ** There is currently much debate concerning the truthiness of the king's denial of rodent-consuming. As diet is an important area of comparison between two arguably similar entities, we ask that anyone who has (preferably solid) evidence on this topic submit said evidence to the wiki. * Kingsnakes are generally docile creatures. Similarly, King George the Melby has not yet been observed to be in a state of anger, extreme vexation, etc. However, it is rumored that he did indeed become significantly displeased by the actions of a student (or students) sometime last year, although the authenticity of such an anecdote has been thrown into question based on the distinct lack of detail in said tale.